Chapter 38: In a Private Room
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Dee and Whittaker watched the doctor quietly give the head nurse instructions, noted her quick look of surprise, and cast apprehensive looks toward each other. Only moments later, the doctor turned toward the couch they were sitting on and walked the short distance to speak with them.
Jordan's doctor didn't waste words. "I'm taking Jordan to see Aleksei."
Dee's knees gave way at the unexpected words and she slowly sank back into the couch's worn cushions. Whittaker dropped to the couch; his mouth falling open then snapping closed abruptly.
"Is that such a good idea?" Whittaker finally managed.
"She needs to see him and she wants to thank him for all he gave her. She needs to say good-bye one last time."
"How soon can she see him?" Dee asked quietly, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"The nurse is taking care of him now. It shouldn't be long," Jordan's doctor answered softly.
"Good. She needs to be with him. Thank you, doctor," Dee stated, squeezing his hand and feeling his return squeeze of comfort.
With a silent nod to Dee and Whittaker, the doctor returned to the nurse's station and gave final instructions for Jordan. Five minutes later, a wheelchair was taken into Jordan's room, and soon left it bearing her petite form.
Dee and Whittaker watched as Jordan was wheeled from their view down a corridor to the bank of elevators that would take her to Aleksei one last time.
The doctor stopped Jordan's wheelchair before a wide, beige metal door with the word PRIVATE printed in bold black letters across a plain piece of white paper, which was taped to it. Jordan looked up at the doctor as he came to stand before her and help her to her feet. "Are you ready?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching hers and finding strength through the sorrow. At her affirmative nod, he pushed the door open and stood to the side, allowing her access into the softly lit room.
Jordan stepped through the doorway; a quietly whispered thank you followed by a gentle smile touched the doctor holding the door for her.
The doctor nodded once in acknowledgment and silently closed the door behind her.
Jordan turned and leaned against the closed door, the chill of the metal seeping through her robe. Her heart pounded erratically, her lungs struggled to take a full breath, her legs threatened to dissolve beneath her, yet she found herself moving steadily toward the hospital bed that Aleksei lay in across the room. Jordan's legs bumped against the steel frame of the bed, startling her as she realized she had reached his side.
Aleksei lay covered by a soft blanket pulled up to his waist, a black long sleeved T-shirt covered his upper body, his once powerful arms lay peacefully at his side. His dark, wavy hair was tussled, as usual, the same lock that he had constantly pushed away from his forehead fell forward, and lovingly Jordan pushed the silky strands back into place. Her fingertips skimmed over his face, memorizing the feel of his skin, smiling as her skin tingled against roughness of the stubble of his beard, remembering how his unshaven face had felt against her face, her neck, her body. Her knuckles grazed a caress over his cheekbones, her eyes clouding when her fingers slid over his temple into his hair and felt the stitches that closed the cut on his head. Without hesitation, she bent over and kissed his wound, nuzzling her cheek against his as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, unsure if she actually caught a whiff of his after-shave or only imagined the scent she'd come to love. Sighing softly, she straightened, flinching as a stab of pain shot through her broken left wrist, a taunting reminder of the accident. Carefully she lifted his left arm and scooted onto the bed beside him, resting his arm across her lap, their left hips touching as they had millions of times before, both on and off the ice. The weight of his arm across her legs was comforting and she ran her hand up and down his arm, frowning at the missing warmth. "You're so cold," she whispered, steadily massaging his arm as he had countless times before done to hers when she had been cold. Her eyes returned to his face, he could be sleeping for the way he looked, relaxed, peaceful, his long, dark lashes laying against his cheeks, the tiniest of smiles turning just the corners of his mouth upward.
Jordan's gaze absorbed every nuance of Aleksei it touched, the small scar on his chin, his full lips, the dark slashes of his eyebrows that could lower in irritation or rise in arrogance. The powerful shoulders and chest that had lifted and held her; tightly, securely, teasingly, lovingly, the hands that had shown her heaven could be found on earth, and that magic truly existed. And as she held his cold hand, the realization that he was truly gone from her rolled over her like a crashing wave. Her body began to shake uncontrollably, and the tears she had somehow held back until now refused to remain unshed. The tears came in a torrent, dropping hotly onto Aleksei's cold hand as she raised his palm and laid her cheek against it, deep inside hoping she would feel his fingers move softly against her skin yet knowing she would never feel his touch again. Her throat felt raw as the emotional pain raged through her body and the words she struggled to speak sounded deep and throaty in the small, softly lit room. "You promised, Aleksei. You swore - nobody leaves. You swore you'd never break a promise to me. You can't break this one - not this one. Dear, God...Aleksei, don't leave me..." she sobbed, her body shaking uncontrollably as she collapsed across his chest, trying to get as close to him as she could. "Take me with you, Aleksei. I don't want to stay here without you - I can't stay without you... Aleksei, please. I love you. Take me with you..." she entreated to any power that was listening, fully prepared to die at that moment, if it meant being with Aleksei forever.
"Take me with you, Aleksei... I love you. Take me with you..." Jordan whispered over and over, tears spilling from her tightly closed eyes down her cheek which rested against his chest, her tears wetting the dark shirt he wore, her hands clenching and unclenching his muscular shoulders as she pleaded to join her love. "Aleksei, I'm so tired...Take me with you." Jordan whispered, closing her eyes against the overwhelming emptiness that the softly lit room offered. "Aleksei..." crossed her lips as a breathless sigh.
Text Copyright © 2000 by Constance E. Moynihan
