Chapter 28: What I Have To Say, Surprises Even Me
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The days passed quickly and before I knew it, it was July 30th, a Thursday. That Monday, I had told Alexi that I had gotten tickets to the show and asked would he like to be my escort. He was genuinely pleased.
The night of the show, I spent quite a long time getting ready. I had something very special planned for Sasha after the show. I would no longer be on the edge, I had finally decided and tonight was the night. I had bought a brand new dress, yellow, to match my bruises, which had not completely faded. I tried to cover them up with makeup, but the effect was not wholly convincing. So I washed my face. I decided that if I stood facing the right way the gray and yellow mark on my temple and cheek would not be glaring.
I took special care with my makeup, opting for a natural look, since anything theatrical would look like I was trying to hide the bruises and made them all the more noticeable. I made sure that my lips looked perfectly kissable and my skin was even and soft. I had just put on my perfume and finished rubbing scented lotion into my hands when the door bell rang.
It must be Alexi. Who else would it be?
Alexi stood in the doorway and stared. He awkwardly handed me the corsage he had brought.
"Oh Alexi," I gushed, "You didn't have to."
He opened the box and stepping behind me, he pinned it to my dress while looking over my shoulder, right down the neckline, I might add. Then he took me by the shoulders and turned me around. He put a finger on my chin and rotated my head looking appraisingly at my face.
"It's not too noticeable, is it?"
"What is?"
"The bruise."
"I wasn't looking at it."
"So what were you looking at?"
"You know, I've always thought that you were pretty, but I was wrong."
"Oh, great. I've got a big black and yellow bruise and it completely marrs my looks." I retorted sarcastically.
"On the contrary, you are lovely, In the extreme. And you smell wonderful."
I really should have known that it was coming. I really should have ducked or jumped or just got out of the way. Unfortunately, when my decision deserts me, I can be completely indecisive. I didn't even move when he kissed me.
It was not entirely unlike kissing Sasha. Alexi smelled different and was taller and heavier. His thin lips were scant protection over the hardness of his teeth, never the less, it was a gentle kiss and a searching one. So as he kissed me, I thought, "What the hell am I doing here letting him kiss me?" But I didn't stop him. His kiss was electric. This was going to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. I finally got a chance to breathe.
"Alexi, you have smudged me. Now I've got to go get pretty all over again." I said, pretending not to be flustered, by his nearness, by his arms around me, by his kiss.
"Sorry, you're just irresistible, besides, I like you at this distance. Can I 'smudge' you some more?"
"No."
"Oh well, You do look pretty."
"Yes and you have lipstick on your face and you've crushed both me and the daisy you brought me." I wrenched myself away from him and hurried to the bathroom where I did a quick 5 minute repair job on my makeup. I grabbed Sasha's Team jacket off the hook. July might be warm, but an ice arena never is.
"Am I on straight?" I asked Alexi.
"You look perfectly kissable to me." He quipped, approaching me.
"You keep your distance. I am not having you smudge me again." Had he pulled the phrase 'perfectly kissable' right out of my head? Psychic phenomena, I guess. I had dressed up for Sasha and unwittingly snared Alexi. Ah, the difficulties of being irresistible.
On the way to the arena, I thought more about my Sasha-Alexi dilemma. I loved Sasha. Sasha lived a thousand miles away. I spent almost all day, every day with Alexi. Would Sasha be jealous? Dumb question! And Alexi, had I lead him on? How was I supposed to know that he was going to go and kiss me? just because I'm attracted to someone doesn't mean that it's mutual. But I realized... I wasn't just attracted, I was highly infatuated with Alexi and it appeared to be highly mutual.
And having thought two stupid things in as many minutes, I looked at Alexi's behavior over the past two months and even before that. Alexi had a crush on me. He very likely had, since I had first came to Chicago. I had not encouraged him, but I hadn't discouraged him either.
I thought and though and mulled and mulled. I agonized over the whole thing until we were sitting in the stands.
"Wow! You really got us great seats!"
"Yeah." I replied absently.
"We're right up against the boards!" He enthused.
"Yeah."
"I'll bet we can see everything from here, even the eyes."
"Yeah."
"Are you feeling okay? You're awfully quiet."
"Yeah, well..." I hesitated. "Alexi, I've got something I need to tell you."
"Me too, Yelena, Hup... they're starting."
The lights lowered.
"Alexi, I've really got to tell you something!" I whispered.
"Shhh. After the show, okay? It'll wait."
I really enjoyed the show. Lily Lee skated and there was a young pair who Alexi claimed to know. The all skaters were great but Sasha's exhibition was exceptional. I'm glad that he started out facing the other side of the rink because Alexi had done the old "stretch the arms and end up with one arm around the girl trick." I had seen this program before, in it's infancy. I had never seen Sasha do it with a sword in his hands. I was sure that he wouldn't do anything that he wasn't sure he could do, but knowing his overweening confidence, I was petrified that I'd see him impaled before my eyes.
"That Klukov can really jump." Alexi had commented after the spread eagle into a triple axel.
"Yeah, he's great." I said faintly with an expanding nausea in the pit of my stomach. I didn't relax until the katana quivered, upended into the ice. The applause was thunderous.
"Ladies and Gentlemen: 1998 Olympic Silver medalist and World Gold medalist Yelena Perenskya and Mikhael Pathanachev." The announcer announced. Alexi tightened up. Then he took a deep breath and let it go.
"I guess, I've got to give that up."
"Yeah. You've got to stop hating Mikhael too."
"That's not the hard part."
They were very good. Their skating had wonderful lines, fantastic extension and great power and speed. Yelena missed the triple toe.
"Do you think we could be that good?" I asked.
"No."
"No?"
"We're going to be better."
"Oh?"
"You wouldn't have missed the triple toe."
The finale. Then the show was over. I still had not gotten to tell Alexi about Sasha. We sat in our seats until most of the crown had dispersed.
"Alexi... " I started to speak.
"Yelena, I know what you are going to say," he interrupted. "I feel the same way too. I've loved you from first sight."
"Oh Alexi, this is terrible!" I exclaimed softly. "I thought that you had a crush on me... but not this."
"What's so terrible about it?"
"What's terrible is that I'm in love with you too..." I stopped and could not go on. Where had that come from?!! I didn't know, but I realized... it was true. I loved him.
"Why is that so terrible?"
"Alexi, do you recognize my jacket?"
"It's an Russian Olympic Team jacket."
"I'm an American, where do you think I got it?"
"From a Russian? At the Olympics?" He stopped aghast and his face fell. "Who's in love with you... Who you love? Please, oh please, tell me you traded for it!" I didn't say a word, I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't meet his eyes. "So you love me, but you love him... "
"Uh huh... "
"And we both love you."
"That's what you said."
"Yelena... " he sighed. "I don't know if I can take this. I lost my lover and my partner when Yelena Perenskya left. I don't know if I can take that again."
"Who said you were going to lose me? Unless you give up on the partnership, I'm staying right here!"
"Then you love me more than him?"
"No. Or at least, I don't know." I paused. "But you are the best chance I have for getting to the Olympics and I don't plan to throw it away."
"Then he's not a pairs skater." He sounded very relieved.
"No."
"Thank God! For a minute, I was afraid that you were in love with Mikhael Pathanachev. That would be a nightmare!"
"He skates singles... and he wants to meet you."
"He actually wants to meet the infamous Alexi Stanachev? I can't even believe that he ever let you out of Newport to skate with me... He doesn't know does he?" I shook my head. "So when do I meet him?"
"Now... or at least as soon as we go backstage and find him."
"Back stage?"
"How do you think I got such great tickets?"
"I hadn't thought about it. I was hoping that you just had a romantic evening planned. Something special." I blushed.Then he continued knowingly, "You do have something special planned. Damn. Some guys have all the luck."
"Alexi, would you mind... "
"Not acting like we're lovers?"
"Well... since we're not. He's going to have a hard enough time accepting you without knowing that I have a crush on you."
"So you don't plan to tell him."
"No."
"Do you think that's fair? To him or to me?"
"I was hoping that you'd understand. Partners fall in love all the time, and they fall out of love with regularity. With the way we fight cats and dogs, we'll be uninfatuated in no time. I don't want to bring it up if I don't have to."
"I'm overwhelmed at your confidence."
"I'm sorry, Alexi, but I really think that it'll wear off."
"And if it doesn't?"
"I'll burn that bridge when I get there."
"You've decided then. If I don't want to go along with it, I should back out of the whole thing right now."
"My way or the highway."
"Huh?"
"It makes sense in English, it rhymes."
"I don't like it, Yelena. Once, I would not have been able to deal with it. As difficult as it will be, I can accept it. But don't think that I won't try to win you."
What had I gotten myself into?
Text Copyright © 1998-2003 Mary E. Tyler
