The Competitor's Choice
Anne pressed the alarm button on her clock so she would not wake her family at the outrageous hour of four in the morning. She questioned what possessed her to continue with these early morning training times. She slipped back her covers and grimaced as her feet touched the icy floor. She shrugged into her soft pink bathrobe and made her way down the hallway to the bathroom. As she stood in front of the mirror she was careful to avoid her reflection. She wondered what it would be like to be one of those girls who looked amazing after anything, even sleep.
Anne finished her routine, which consisted of washing her face with a non-abrasive soap (so as not to irritate her sensitive skin) and scrubbing her teeth. She brushed and pulled her hair back into a tight knot as she thought, once again, that humans should be bald because hair was just a needless bother.
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Anne pedaled her bike hard puffing out plumes of white frosty air on the way to the indoor skating rink. The streets of Prince George were quiet with a uniquely Canadian November chill. She knew that soon the air would be filled with the excitement of the Sectional Skating Championships.
After locking up her bike, she stood and surveyed the arena. One of the few pleasures of getting up with the early morning sun was having the rink all to herself. Her only displeasure was being the first one on the ice, and having to crease the smooth glassy surface. The momentary peacefulness of the air was broken when a familiar voice carried down to her from the bleachers.
"How come you're here working on your routine on the day of the competition?"
Anne recognized the voice as Tamara's, her best friend and winner of the last two consecutive competitions.
"Unfortunately I need more practice than you do," Anne quipped.
Tamara laughed and commented, "I doubt that."
"How come you're not on the ice then?"
"Probably because I'd never forgive myself if I did better jumps this morning than this afternoon," Tamara said with a nervous look.
"Well, I guess this competition is pretty important to you."
"Sure, but with you as my competitor I'll have to try harder," Tamara admitted.
Anne laughed to relieve her own nervousness and then asked Tamara if she was going to stay to watch her practice.
"No, I'll let you surprise me this afternoon. I just came down to the rink because I couldn't sleep and I thought I'd try that thing the coach was talking about where I picture my skate in my mind. I'll see yah later," she said over her shoulder.
"See yah," Anne replied.
Anne slipped off her skate guards and slid onto the ice feeling the excitement that she always did when she was about to do her morning skate. She stood for a moment, thinking through all of the movements that she would perform. Pushing off from her start position she felt the music pulse in her mind. She splayed her arms out from her sides with graceful practice and skated around the rink a few times to warm up and focus on her jump. The music reached a fever pitch as she gathered speed. She felt her skates glide over the ice and power surged up through her legs as she spun into the air. She floated back down to the ice in a smooth landing. She knew she had completed a perfect jump. Feelings of satisfaction sang through Anne's body as she slipped her skates off, ready to return home and rest up for the big competition later this afternoon.
As Anne left the building and made her way over to her bike her thoughts turned to memories of her Grandpa when he was alive. She remembered that long ago birthday when she had opened her gift from him and discovered a sparkling brand new pair of figure skates. The smooth white leather had glistened along side the silver flash of the blades. She had jumped up and gave him a big hug, her cheeks flushed with excitement. He had whispered in her ear, "I'm glad you like them sweetie, and remember, as long as you always try your best you will have fun."
"Oh, I will grandpa, I will!" she had beamed back.
For years after that he had attended her practices and competitions. They had watched all of the televised skating events together, picking favorites and rooting for them. She missed him so much.
Anne was startled from her reminiscing by a strange sound. She thought she could hear someone crying. She left her bike and moved closer, listening in an attempt to figure out where the sound was coming from. She rounded the corner of the concrete building and caught a glimpse of a girl huddled and sitting on the arena staff's picnic table. As she drew near she realized that the girl was her best friend.
"Tamara, hey, what's going on?" she spoke in a low tone as she put her arm around her friend in comfort. Tamara sobbed and eased into the crook of Anne's arm. They sat like that for a while; lines of concern etched Anne's face.
"I am in a deadly situation!" Tamara broke the silence.
"Why, what happened, I don't understand," Anne responded.
"My mom lost her job, she just found out Friday that the company is downsizing, whatever that means. Anyway, what it means for me is that I won't be able to skate anymore. What am I going to do? Skating is my life!" Tamara said as she burst into a fresh round of tears. Anne's arm tightened around her as they rocked together with Anne smoothing Tamara's hair. Her mind raced, she tried to think of something to say to make her friend feel better. Instead she held her until her tears subsided.
"Don't worry Tamara, we'll figure something out."
"Yeah? Like what?" Tamara muttered. She looked into Anne's face and then felt a flush of guilt.
"I'm sorry Anne, I don't mean to put this on you on competition day. I think I'm losing it. I feel better now, thanks for listening. She squeezed Anne's hand and said, "I'll be fine, really. I just had to burn off the stress."
"Okay, see you later today at the competition?" Anne searched Tamara's face and felt relief when she saw a smile twitch at the corners of her friend's mouth.
"See you later, thanks again," Tamara called over her shoulder as she headed home.
Anne returned to her bike, unlocked it and sped away. As her legs pumped up and down on the pedals her mind sifted through this recent turn of events. She had never seen Tamara so upset and knew that somehow she had to help her.
She thought back to the first time she had met her. They had both been in grade one and an older kid had knocked Tamara to the ground in a race to retrieve a stray soccer ball. Anne had discovered her, crumpled in a heap, crying. She had pointed to the older boy and hiccuped, "That boy, he, he, knocked me down." Anne had gathered a little group of friends, marched over to the boy and demanded that he apologize. The boy had issued a sincere apology. Tamara had gazed up at her with such a look of awe that Anne had vowed to help whenever and however she could.
Anne sat in her bedroom with her eyes closed in deep concentration. She went over the routine that she had developed over months of practice. She breathed deep and slow, envisioning a perfect routine. In her mind, she felt buoyant and light as she sailed through the air with the crowd cheering in the background. She completed her visualization exercise and then sat thinking about the day's events.
She knew that there had to be a way to help her friend. A thought had niggled at her mind but she just could not grasp what it was. Then it hit her, full force in the temporal lobe. She could make sure that Tamara would place in the top four so that she would qualify for the Junior Nationals which were attached to provincial and national funding programs. She would receive the much needed funding that her parents could no longer afford. Because they were equal competitors deemed most likely to place, Anne knew that if she deliberately lost she would almost guarantee a winning spot for Tamara. Anne's excitement at finding a solution turned to sadness as she realized that it would mean that she would have to lose. She felt even sadder when she realized that Tamara would never forgive her if she knew that she had thrown the competition. Still, she really wanted to be supportive and help Tamara.
Anne felt her sense of distress increase as the hours of the day clicked over. Her hands and feet turned ice cold and her stomach flip-flopped. Her heart raced with each possibility and for the first time in her life she experienced heartburn. Back at the arena, she felt a wave of nausea and made her way to the girls change room where she leaned against the cool metal of a stall. She knew that she had to make a decision soon or she would not be able to compete at all.
Anne left the change room and noticed that the competition had begun. Tense excitement filled the air as one by one the competitors performed their skate to the music of their choice. Tamara and Anne stood side-by-side surveying their competitors. Anne wished Tamara good luck as she was called to the ice.
Anne watched her friend glide around the ice in tune with her music. Having practiced together for years, Anne could tell when Tamara was skating her best as she was today. Her arms imbued grace as she turned and spun on the ice. Her jumps were exquisite in their height and elegance. She ended her skate with a traditional spin that brought a thunder of applause. Anne's heart overflowed with pride as she watched her friend's performance.
Anne's mind was in turmoil as she removed her skate guards and glided out onto the ice. Even as she skated out to the center start position she grappled with a solution. All she had to do was slump in her posture or miss a jump and Tamara would win. But she really wanted to win too and letting her friend win just seemed wrong some how.
Anne stood poised waiting for her music to start. In that moment she breathed deep and closed her eyes, the arena was quiet. A vision of her grandpa's face surfaced in her mind and his voice echoed, "Remember, try your best." She opened her eyes and released her breath; she knew what to do. She pushed off with the beat of her song and extended her arms with swan-like grace. She felt connected to the ice as if by magnets as she slid over the silvery surface. She was full of strength and symmetry as she spun in the air and landed solid. She stood poised and smiled into the roar of applause as she finished.
Anne stepped up on the square block of wood to receive her prize. She shook hands with the man who handed her the medal and smiled. She looked up at Tamara's proud and beaming face. Anne's eyes settled on the trophy cup and envelope clutched in her friend's hands. Her fingers clasped her own envelope tight as her heart raced with excitement. Tamara bent down and wrapped her arm around Anne's shoulder. Anne grinned and said, "I have never had so much fun losing to anyone and I can hardly wait until the Junior Nationals."
Tamara replied, "You're on!"
Copyright © 2005 Rhonda Cottrell. All Rights Reserved.